Bouncing Back From Parenting Mistakes

As a parent you know there will be times of failure.  As a matter of fact, there will be moments when you will fail on a regular basis.  Failures during parenting does not mean that one is a bad parent it just gives one an opportunity to learn from ones mistakes and develop the skills that one has acquired from certain missteps.  These days with the use of social media mistakes made by parents are plastered all over the internet.  A lot of people reading the captions of parents caught in “certain” acts are quick to judge parents on how they are doing their jobs without knowing the situation.

The Fear of looking Like a Bad Parent:

Harsh judgement and extreme scrutiny can often make someone look like a bad parent when in essence it is just their attempt in trying to fix a situation.  This fear can lead to problems.  Firstly, parents can refuse to allow their kids to fail.  Parents worry that if their child is unprepared for a soccer match or hasn’t done their homework it will reflect badly on them and as a result, that child will always have everything taken care of by the parent.  This “rescue” mentality will result in children missing out on valuable lessons in life.

Next, parents hide their own mistakes.  No one likes harsh criticism or being rebuked by someone;  so in an effort to avoid bad judgement or comments, parents hide their mistakes.  This way crucial lessons that the child could have learned go unaddressed.

Some parents lose sight of their own values because they want to avoid looking like a bad parent.  This problem overlooks behavior that needs to be dealt with like whining, or crying too much if the child does get what he or she wants.  Parents get so caught up in looking bad on social media that they avoid dealing with real life issues to begin with.

This is no reason to give up being a proper parent to your child.  Here are a few ways one can achieve that:

• Acknowledge your own mistake.  It is only after we acknowledge our own mistakes that we can move on and help someone else.  So take a moment and accept the fact that you made a mistake.
• Allow your failure to be a teachable moment for your child.  Apologize and let your child know that you take full responsibility for your actions.
• Create a plan to do better next time.  Come up with a plan  to help you become a better parent.
• Get support when you need it.  Find a support group or make one so you can discuss with your group challenges you may have as a parent and some solutions to go along.
• Be able to maintain a sense of humor.  Parenting is a tough job, sharing your silly parenting blunders could put you in touch with others that can share similar experiences.  You could then look back and laugh about it later!

Following these steps  can help you raise a child you can be proud of and in the process show them that no one is perfect ;but that we can learn a lot from the mistakes we make.